and I'm so, so ready to hang up.

[insiding]

"Hey, uh, you've reached Dan Humphrey. I'm not here right now, I'm busy - on an empty planet or I'm away from the free phone I've been given, I didn't hear it, as well as a myriad of other reasons why I might not be here right now including the giant worshiping elephant in the room. Leave a message at the beep. If there's a beep. Maybe they don't have beeps here. Maybe they have moans or, or 'oh baby, oh baby's.' And now I want to call myself. But, I digress. Summing up, Dan Humphrey, not here."

Comments

[insiding]

Because I didn't. [ he takes a second. he doesn't remember her. he just remembers Stefan. ] Rebekah's his friend and she talked to him about it after, smoothed things over. [ that's what he was told, anyway. ] Made him know it wasn't - you know, wrong or - I don't know, I guess he was embarrassed. I'd ask if you know Rebekah but you know Stefan so by proxy, [ he must know her. ] Did you ever think I'd more more help if I was aware of your existence outside of these late night visits? [ an eyebrow. ] Not to mention, my neighbors might start thinking I have a gentleman caller.

[poppycock]

[ and his suspicion grows. there's a part of him that strongly doubts dan didn't meet rebekah that day, or that perhaps this conversation they had involved a bit of compulsion on his dear sister's part. his expression is dark, and he's sped unceremoniously into dan's space just before he ends his rambling. a heavy hand lands on his shoulder.

time for a little test of compulsion. ] What exactly do you remember about the day you met Stefan?

[insiding]

[ holy fuck, that's never something dan gets used to. and if it weren't for the hand on his shoulder, he'd stumble back. but the compulsion takes hold like it always does. ]

I remember I met someone from WWII in the caves, I remember I had something to eat by the fire. I remember that Stefan came on strong. I remember finding an empty hut. I remember... meeting Annie.

[poppycock]

[ let's go for something more specific. ] How did he come on strong?

[insiding]

I don't know, he came on strong. [ He furrows his brow, used to the compulsion. But, in the grips of it, he can't connect his thoughts together. It's evident, however, that that's all Dan was told to say. ] He came on strong and now we're friends.

[poppycock]

[ it's a tense moment of searching dan's expression, his face, listening to his heartbeat. eventually, klaus smiles. (he'd placing his bets against the validity of this story.)

he drops his hand and turns away. his fingers make a steeple against his lips and he turns back to dan. his tone is light and casual. ] I wouldn't worry about any suspicions from your neighbors; I'm quite light on my feet.

[insiding]

And quick to invade personal space. [ But, he's not backing down. Not cowering. ] Did you find out what you need? He came on strong but we're still friends. That's what I remember. [ He takes a second, frowning again. ] That's all I remember. [ Maybe he is catching on, after all. ]

[poppycock]

Oh, I found out quite a lot, actually. [ he sees those wheels in your head turning, dan. too bad you'll forget this all the moment he walks out. ] As usual your services are indispensable.

[insiding]

Services. [ Hah. He huffs. ] You missed the part where I tried to appeal to your, your intelligence. Look, being your sleeper agent - it's meaningful, but wouldn't you rather have someone who can - who knows what to look for. As it is, I just go around without knowing you're there, without knowing you - doing things with your friends I'd rather not and reporting back. Don't you think my reports might be better if I knew what I was doing? You could give me a little more credit.

[ or step back. ]

[poppycock]

[ some of the amusement in klaus' expression fades, somewhere around that 'intelligence' barb. it's more about the presumptuous insult than about how anything that follows it is true - and it is, in theory at least. klaus would even commend what dan's proposing as simply logical and in his best interests. the problem is dan has interests, motivations he's sure, and that won't do. (to get his memories, his free will, perhaps something else, something more. perhaps something to do with stefan or his sister.)

he steps forward again, this time slowly, measured. ] Well, I could adjust your compulsion, give you a little more credit, but it seems like that arrangement would give you back your memories and all this information you've accumulated.

[insiding]

[ he stands his ground. he wants to step back, but he doesn't ]

Which could only help your covert agenda in the long run. I've known people like you, I've run schemes. You think ten steps ahead. Why wouldn't it be wrong for you to let me help you. [ at this point, he's just appealing to klaus' megalomania. and he knows what he's doing. he wants his memory. he wants his wits about him. he wants to stop walking around half-assed at everything, knowing this much every time klaus steps into his hut. ] Trust - it's earned. [ and broken. ] Don't you think you should give me the chance to earn yours?

[poppycock]

[ there's a perpetual, almost polite smile on klaus' lips as dan speaks, his hands clasped behind his back. his brows raise, a bit mockingly, and he listens. so the boy might know a thing or two, but that remains to be proven. he might have a wit or two, but he's glaringly obvious about it.

there are many reasons why it would be wrong to let dan help him, and klaus knows them all. he'd put money on dan being aware them too; it's only understandable. (trust is earned. the moment dan mentions it, klaus considers how it's broken too, and his expression darkens.)

it's a long pause before he answers. ] All right then. Let's start trusting each other, Daniel. [ he turns around towards a few of dan's thing strewn about. he prods a piece of wood with the toe of his boot and leans over to pick it up.

it's thick, sturdy, and has a point. he holds it out to the boy. ] Stab yourself.

[insiding]

[ he stays wary, alert, notices that piece of broken wood you grabbed, klaus. it works as kindling. he's guessing klaus won't use it for a fire. he has to be careful. to play it safe. it's not seducing serena or falling on the side of blair - and it's not screwing over blair. it's not soccer and guy stuff he has with nate. no. common ground won't be easy to come by with klaus.

he eyes klaus' hand. horrified. but, he tries to tamp that down, the speed of his heart quickening. he can't hide that. and he doesn't know vampires can hear your heart beat. ]

Just - to be clear. You want me to - to stab myself. For - what, to show loyalty? [ spread a rumor about himself, send a tip to gossip girl, shoplift, eviscerate someone socially. this he can all do. ] I'd say we crossed over into torture porn territory but - vampire.

[ he's also not stupid. not by a longshot. his life is in danger inside this cabin. he could cry out. stefan's -- not an option because his device is next to his bed. klaus is fast. inhumanly fast.

he takes the shard of wood from klaus, testing it in his hand. he can't stab himself in the chest or the stomach. he can't stab klaus. it's wood but - again. fast. he looks down, placing it against his right thigh, testing it out. does he have enough strength? he knows he has to do this. this is the test that might give him his mind back. if he tries standing up, he could miss, scratch himself but not stab.

he breathes heavily, taking a step back to sit on his bed. he needs more leverage. he closes his eyes before opening them and drawing the piece of wood to his thigh. he does it before he can convince himself not to, plunging the piece of wood into his thigh. he's unable to hold in his reaction, crying out. shocked at what he's done, he removes his hand. he's afraid to take it out now. there are probably splinters. this can't be health conscious. not on this planet.

but this is klaus. and it's life or death. he lets out a shaky breath, looking up at him. blood pools around the edges of the stake. his breathing is still heavy. he tries not to show his worry over what klaus will do. but, he is. he's scared. he just fucking stabbed himself in the leg.

but dan humphrey is nothing if not a survivor.

one day he's an outcast, the next he's something else ]

[poppycock]

[ klaus says nothing, merely indicates with a somewhat careless expression that yes, dan, that's what he wants of you. perhaps it's for loyalty, perhaps it's not; it's all up to him to decide. klaus will simply enjoy the show, stand idly by and watch as dan weighs his options and chooses.

he chooses impressively, although klaus is wont to give him the credit. there's a surprised and satisfied gleam in his eyes, a bloodthirstiness as dan buries the stake in his thigh. the way he cries out is problematic, of course, and that's partially why klaus speeds over, kneels in front of the boy, one hand resting on his shoulder. ] Shh, shh, shh. Be quiet, be quiet.

[ his hand curls around the wood, but doesn't jostle it. he lets dan calm himself, feels the shuddering of his pain, smells the curdling of his blood.

he's terrified. klaus smirks. ] You can do better. [ with a lurch, he pulls the makeshift weapon out, covers the boy's mouth with a smothering palm. blood gushes from the wound, now unheeded. he offers it yet again. ] In your stomach now.

[insiding]

[ he tries to keep it together. he doesn't yell when klaus pulls it out, but he wants to. there's a hand covering his mouth and he struggles against it by instinct.

yes. he's terrified. for someone that hides behind a computer screen, everything on this planet is too real. his lap of luxury is gone. tears from the pain escape, pulling the blanket nearby to him, pressing it against his leg. it needs pressure, right? a tourniquet? he doesn't know.

he looks down at the stake then back to klaus.

can he talk his way out of this. he definitely got himself into this. not that he did his first day, not when klaus found him. no, he's at klaus' behest. he's never been under someone's thumb like this.

never physically.

he wants to ask what this will prove. how things became so life and death. if his friendships with stefan or with rebekah are worth it. this is why he needs his mind back. because he got himself involved in the middle of something bloody and violent. and if he's going to survive today --

if he dies. if he dies at all, he'll come back. he knows that. he's heard. it. there are doctors. if klaus leaves him for dead, he has a phone. he lifts up the blanket. blood still pools from his wound. he sucks in a breath setting the sheet aside. he takes the piece of wood. he knows there are splinters. there will be more splinters.

he's dead anyway.

this is his life now. dan humphrey, ironically always in the right place at the right time, even if he never admits to it. and here he was - the very wrong place.

he tries to stand, to help the angle but the pain in his thigh drops him back down. bringing a second hand to the would, he regrips, pointing it at an angle, point down. he has to believe in the trust. that's what this is about. and klaus can never know that he can't trust dan. nobody can trust him. not really.

making eye contact, he makes it clear he has the strength, the power and the will to plunge the makeshift stake into his stomach. anatomically, he aims for the right side, he knows it's somewhere there. the pain is greater. he doesn't know if he hits anything. he's hunched over, shocked at even his own actions, head near klaus'.

falling forward, he hits the ground on his side, back hitting the floor, wood sticking out again. he tries to grab the wood again, do something.

maybe he's in shock, klaus ]

[poppycock]

[ klaus has dealt the blows, done the torturing long enough to know when someone's dying, to know how long it might take. he knows by the sound of his heart and the desperation of his breathing that it's probably a toss between blood loss and organ failure.

the lad has more will, more determination, more guts (ironically speaking) than perhaps klaus would've pegged him for, and that was partially the point of this experiment. (people are usually more capable than what they seem, given the right motivation.) it's telling, that he didn't yell despite the agony. it's telling that he'd take the wood and do as he's told when so many might blubber and refuse or make the foolish mistake of attacking instead.

klaus stands and cocks his head to the side, smiles down on him. (the irony is klaus will never trust him. he'll trust his fear, his terror, his own ambition to reclaim himself, but never him.)

he bends to pull the stake from dan's middle, unconcerned with the blood that pours and pumps out. grabs the boy's shirt to drag him to the edge of his bed and sit him up. he kneels beside him, some amusement in his expression as he reaches for the empty apo bol he'd tossed this way.

he veins, his two sets of fangs lengthening, his pupils glowing gold and crimson filling his eyes. klaus bites down into the palm of his hand and squeezes, fills the fruit.

taking hold of dan's chin, he brings it to dan's lips and guides it down his throat. ]

[insiding]

[ dan is mostly unaware of what's going on. he's delirious at this point, surprised by his own sheer will. if he has to prove himself, he does. he can't lose this opportunity. when the apo bol is brought to his lips, he drinks it because he has no choice in the matter. his thoughts move to jenny, to serena.

when liquid passes your lips, you drink. he gargles a bit, if only because he probably stabbed his own organ. if one wound won't be infected, the other would be. he sputters again but manages to get it all down, some of the blood escaping his mouth, trickling down.

it's not long before his breathing steadies, before the nasty gash in his leg closes up, or the gaping would from his stomach seals over, skin returning.

he gasps for air, coughing, dropping to the ground again in a crawl position, his organs returning to their proper working order. he looks down, not seeing the two places he'd stabbed himself. only his boxers are bloody, every other sign of something gone.

suddenly, he feels energized. not scared, exhilarated even. whatever klaus had done, he has more energy then he's had in days. dropping onto his back, he finally turns to face klaus, testing out that - yes, he can breathe. and he's alive. he looks back over to the bloody, ruined sheet. he doesn't really know what to say. he just lays there however.

did he really just do that? ]

[poppycock]

There you go, lad; there you go. [ it's a mocking, grim consolation as dan chokes down his blood. but the boy does it regardless, and all that's left is the waiting.

klaus takes a seat on dan's bed in the meantime, reaches for the stained sheets to wipe off his hands. he waits as dan heals, comes back to himself, no doubt feels the rush of the powerful blood coursing through his system. he waits, all the joy and amusement of the last violent minutes gone from his expression.

he looks at dan, holds his gaze unflinchingly. ]

What do you want? [ he knows the answer, the truth: he wants his free will back. his memories, the dignity he believes should be given to him.

he doesn't want this: to serve klaus, to pledge loyalty and fealty with any genuine feeling. none do.

he wants to hear dan's terms. his truth. ]

[insiding]

[ when he can finally bring himself to sit up, he does. ]

For starters, to not have to do that again. [ for starters. ] I want to be able to remember this - and everything - on days you don't [ darken his doorstep ] drop by. The knowledge that you, Stefan - probably Rebekah are all vampires. I want the chance to actually report back to you in a timely fashion, to not have to, to rack my brain every time you wake me up. I could be missing important details.

[ he takes a second, pulling himself to his feet. ]

And I want to know what you want. Why me. Your blood heals. You can make people do whatever you want. Why do you need me, anyway? [ he knows the answer. blair had lackeys. serena. jenny. he gets that. ]

[poppycock]

[ he doesn't answer, at least not to any of dan's many demands and questions, not at once. he sees no reason to acquiesce, considering the potential of the boy's ambitions and falsity. instead, he weaves his fingers together, rests his elbows at his knees. ] I could take away your memories. You could live a solitary life in this little hut worrying about naught but your impotence, none the wiser about your new friends. You could be a blank slate. Utterly useless and free. Some might plead it's a merciful fate. [ many would beg for it, would cry and plead. many would fall to their knees and promise him whatever he'd like in exchange for their lives.

daniel humphrey took a stake and plunged it into his middle. his voice is light, casual, but there's a darkness to his eyes, a threat. ] The truth is I don't need you.

[insiding]

[ talk about backfiring.

normally, dan would call it mutual. cut ties altogether, but dan has gone above and beyond today. dan's done unspeakable things. probably came close to dying if not rupturing several organs. this dan has been pushed far beyond limits. limits only his sister's aware of. and even then, she has no idea what he's capable of. ]

I think you do. [ he has to play this carefully. downplaying what he does won't help, but shining a lamp on his being Gossip Girl will sound exceedingly trivial. ] I pay attention to the network. I keep an eye on people. I know things. And I can infer things. Like, how you left Rebekah that knight and that you two obviously aren't on good terms. But, she's your sister, right?

I know that Damon Salvatore is Stefan's brother. If you're all vampires then he's one, too. I see who you all talk to, who you know. People don't keep things private here because they take privacy for granted. [ he moves away, grabbing his device up, checking for any messages, checking the network to see if he can prove his point. ] I'm not just some mouthy college student. I pay close attention. It's my default setting. I ramble, I talk entirely too much - overly so - but, there's a lot more going on underneath the surface. [ he looks up. ] Isn't there always? I'm not useless, I'm not some weak-willed kid. I've singlehandedly taken down... - honestly, I've lost count. And I've used information to do it. [ he holds his phone out to explain himself. ]

I'm not harmless. And I'm someone you want on your side.

[poppycock]

[ klaus wouldn't worry about sounding trivial; he's not entirely moved by dan's argument, nor does he look it. or he wouldn't be, perhaps, if he didn't just witness dan's display of will and desperation.

figuring out who rebekah is, the estate of their affairs, making note of the knight, and deducing what damon is doesn't take much inference, yet it does mean something: it means the boy isn't lying that he pays attention, that compelled or not, he's been listening. he considers it: wiping this child's memory of all that's come to pass between them. (does he truly want a partner, a spy, someone acting on his own motivations and ambitions, and so close to his sister?)

perhaps he has been underestimating him. (very clearly it's not something dan takes to well.) he wonders if that's where dan wants to be. on his side. (he doubts it. he craves power; it's a hunger he recognizes.) ]

Well your harmlessness has made you so useful.

[ he rises from the bed, walks over to stop only a foot from the boy. ]

[insiding]

Only as useful as you let me be, and not useful as I am. Don't you encourage full potential, Klaus? [ it's more reading the type of personality klaus is. paranoid. ruthless. trust is clearly as big an issues with klaus as it is with dan. it's why he and serena broke up the first time around. ironically. nobody should trust him. but that's not an argument he's going to make now. ]

[poppycock]

On the contrary, I often squander it. [ the reply is accompanied with a smile, something twisted, with the promise of a bite. daniel is right, after all: he is paranoid. he is ruthless. he doesn't trust.

his lips fall into a line the moment he's finished talking; the amusement in his eyes is replaced with a void of violent and shrewd perception. it takes just as long for his hand to shoot up and and crush dan's throat, his fingers to grasp his neck. truly his mistake was mentioning rebekah. it's half the reason klaus enjoys whatever sputters and chokes follow. his pupils dilate. ] You will do as I say. Nothing more, nothing less. You serve me. But I will give you credit. Your ambition is something to behold.

Clean this up and make sure no one sees you. Get rid of the bloodstains. Burn them if you have to. Never think of them again. I was never here. [ the corner of his lips twitch. ] This night didn't happen.

[ bye dan. whoosh. ]