"YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, XOXO GOSSIP GIRL"

"Hey, uh, you've reached Dan Humphrey. I'm not here right now, I'm busy - on an empty planet or I'm away from the free phone I've been given, I didn't hear it, as well as a myriad of other reasons why I might not be here right now including the giant worshiping elephant in the room. Leave a message at the beep. If there's a beep. Maybe they don't have beeps here. Maybe they have moans or, or 'oh baby, oh baby's.' And now I want to call myself. But, I digress. Summing up, Dan Humphrey, not here."