and I'm so, so ready to hang up.

[insiding]

"Hey, uh, you've reached Dan Humphrey. I'm not here right now, I'm busy - on an empty planet or I'm away from the free phone I've been given, I didn't hear it, as well as a myriad of other reasons why I might not be here right now including the giant worshiping elephant in the room. Leave a message at the beep. If there's a beep. Maybe they don't have beeps here. Maybe they have moans or, or 'oh baby, oh baby's.' And now I want to call myself. But, I digress. Summing up, Dan Humphrey, not here."

Comments

[insiding]

[ when he can finally bring himself to sit up, he does. ]

For starters, to not have to do that again. [ for starters. ] I want to be able to remember this - and everything - on days you don't [ darken his doorstep ] drop by. The knowledge that you, Stefan - probably Rebekah are all vampires. I want the chance to actually report back to you in a timely fashion, to not have to, to rack my brain every time you wake me up. I could be missing important details.

[ he takes a second, pulling himself to his feet. ]

And I want to know what you want. Why me. Your blood heals. You can make people do whatever you want. Why do you need me, anyway? [ he knows the answer. blair had lackeys. serena. jenny. he gets that. ]

[poppycock]

[ he doesn't answer, at least not to any of dan's many demands and questions, not at once. he sees no reason to acquiesce, considering the potential of the boy's ambitions and falsity. instead, he weaves his fingers together, rests his elbows at his knees. ] I could take away your memories. You could live a solitary life in this little hut worrying about naught but your impotence, none the wiser about your new friends. You could be a blank slate. Utterly useless and free. Some might plead it's a merciful fate. [ many would beg for it, would cry and plead. many would fall to their knees and promise him whatever he'd like in exchange for their lives.

daniel humphrey took a stake and plunged it into his middle. his voice is light, casual, but there's a darkness to his eyes, a threat. ] The truth is I don't need you.

[insiding]

[ talk about backfiring.

normally, dan would call it mutual. cut ties altogether, but dan has gone above and beyond today. dan's done unspeakable things. probably came close to dying if not rupturing several organs. this dan has been pushed far beyond limits. limits only his sister's aware of. and even then, she has no idea what he's capable of. ]

I think you do. [ he has to play this carefully. downplaying what he does won't help, but shining a lamp on his being Gossip Girl will sound exceedingly trivial. ] I pay attention to the network. I keep an eye on people. I know things. And I can infer things. Like, how you left Rebekah that knight and that you two obviously aren't on good terms. But, she's your sister, right?

I know that Damon Salvatore is Stefan's brother. If you're all vampires then he's one, too. I see who you all talk to, who you know. People don't keep things private here because they take privacy for granted. [ he moves away, grabbing his device up, checking for any messages, checking the network to see if he can prove his point. ] I'm not just some mouthy college student. I pay close attention. It's my default setting. I ramble, I talk entirely too much - overly so - but, there's a lot more going on underneath the surface. [ he looks up. ] Isn't there always? I'm not useless, I'm not some weak-willed kid. I've singlehandedly taken down... - honestly, I've lost count. And I've used information to do it. [ he holds his phone out to explain himself. ]

I'm not harmless. And I'm someone you want on your side.

[poppycock]

[ klaus wouldn't worry about sounding trivial; he's not entirely moved by dan's argument, nor does he look it. or he wouldn't be, perhaps, if he didn't just witness dan's display of will and desperation.

figuring out who rebekah is, the estate of their affairs, making note of the knight, and deducing what damon is doesn't take much inference, yet it does mean something: it means the boy isn't lying that he pays attention, that compelled or not, he's been listening. he considers it: wiping this child's memory of all that's come to pass between them. (does he truly want a partner, a spy, someone acting on his own motivations and ambitions, and so close to his sister?)

perhaps he has been underestimating him. (very clearly it's not something dan takes to well.) he wonders if that's where dan wants to be. on his side. (he doubts it. he craves power; it's a hunger he recognizes.) ]

Well your harmlessness has made you so useful.

[ he rises from the bed, walks over to stop only a foot from the boy. ]

[insiding]

Only as useful as you let me be, and not useful as I am. Don't you encourage full potential, Klaus? [ it's more reading the type of personality klaus is. paranoid. ruthless. trust is clearly as big an issues with klaus as it is with dan. it's why he and serena broke up the first time around. ironically. nobody should trust him. but that's not an argument he's going to make now. ]

[poppycock]

On the contrary, I often squander it. [ the reply is accompanied with a smile, something twisted, with the promise of a bite. daniel is right, after all: he is paranoid. he is ruthless. he doesn't trust.

his lips fall into a line the moment he's finished talking; the amusement in his eyes is replaced with a void of violent and shrewd perception. it takes just as long for his hand to shoot up and and crush dan's throat, his fingers to grasp his neck. truly his mistake was mentioning rebekah. it's half the reason klaus enjoys whatever sputters and chokes follow. his pupils dilate. ] You will do as I say. Nothing more, nothing less. You serve me. But I will give you credit. Your ambition is something to behold.

Clean this up and make sure no one sees you. Get rid of the bloodstains. Burn them if you have to. Never think of them again. I was never here. [ the corner of his lips twitch. ] This night didn't happen.

[ bye dan. whoosh. ]